Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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