Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
