She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
