I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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