trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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