"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize
