Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
