Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Boobs are out for the taking
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
