I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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