Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
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