I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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