no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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