i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
