toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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