i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
