White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
