My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
