I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
