so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
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