hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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