i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
