My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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