I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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