how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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