i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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