She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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