matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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