we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
