I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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