They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize