so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
