I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Having a random hookup so left but love u
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
