I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
