If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
