well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
