I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
