Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
