My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
