A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
