Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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