Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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