Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
