you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
