physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
