worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
soo... how was my night?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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