If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
