I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
it's like iHOP with fire
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
