if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Randomize
