remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
