Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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