There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
