is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize