I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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