I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Slut skills are useful in every country.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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