i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
