bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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