Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
