Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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