Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
